User blog:Katniss
I don’t know what exactly you would call this. Maybe a letter to you. Maybe…A blog. A story. Maybe just a diary entry. No matter what it is. This is to you. I’m not really sure how to start this. Last night, when I was thinking about writing this. I had all these plans on how to begin. But, now that I’m here. At the laptop, my fingers typing. I’m blank. Its funny how when it comes down to it. Our rawest emotions, the ones we feel deep in our stomach. The most important ones. Are the hardest ones to face. I wasn’t planning to put this in here. But, it just popped up in my memory. I remember when I was about nine. I had a little bit of money, and I went to the shop. You came with me, and I remember being so mad at you. I wanted to be an adult! I wanted to go and buy my things, without my big brother trying to protect me! That little girl who was so mad at her brother for being there for her. Fears she wont have enough time to be under his protection anymore. We used to fight when we were younger didn’t we? A lot. We would yell, and argue. Oh boy the arguing. And, even if we were just playing around. You would always accidently hurt me. You never realized how strong you were. Its only recently I realized how strong you really are. I remember, you were always up at the crack of dawn. And, always the last one to go to bed. Its only till now I realize why. You have a zest for life. You love it, you always want to be apart of it. Never want to miss a thing. You know how much I admire that? I don’t think I’ve ever told you. I wish I had the courage to tell you now. I’ve always taken you a bit for granted, you have just been the annoying big brother. But, looking back. You weren’t like that at all. You played that role for me. You looked like the big brother, who just sat there annoying her. You played the bad guy. So I could shine. I don’t know if you did this…Consciously. But, I look back and, you really did that. I looked like the innocent, little girl. Who had so many talents, and wonderful qualities. And you just sat back, and brought the attention on me. I never knew how selfless you really are. Until now. I’m frozen again. I can’t think of anything to type. Again. It’s like the words are suspended in my head. I guess you know I’ve never been on to be at a loss of words. I always have something to say about something. I’m always talking. You’ve never really been like that. Sure you had plenty to comment on, but. Never really talk about. I don’t really know why that is. I guess just your personality. Another memory just popped into my head. Your…As the family like to call it. “Jesse facts”. You always have a fact about SOME subject. About….90% of the time. They are wrong. But, you still like to tell them. My of my favorite games, is proving them wrong. The entire family would argue with you about that fact. And eventually, I would Google it. And, even when you were proven wrong. You stuck to your guns. I don’t really know how I feel about that memory…I just know it makes me laugh. Which, your able to do a lot. I don’t really know what to call your sense of humor. You don’t… Play on others. You just, make people laugh. I guess I admire that to. I admire a lot of things you do. And, I never tell you. Weird how you can admire and look up to someone so much, and never tell them. I guess this is my way of telling you. So, here is what I want to say. I don’t know where this disease is going to take you. Weather you will be here in six months or not. But I want you to know. I’ve never looked up to you more. Then I have now. The cancer took you hair, your body. Your energy. But it never took away your sprit. Never. And that day, when they said it was going to be all over. And told me to come in, I saw you. You looked so weak, and fragile. You looked like death was right on your doorstep. And you still made a joke. You still made me laugh. I hope you can still make me laugh, for years to come. I never believed someone could do what you have done. Not loose themselves in the hospital gray. In the poison pumping in your blood. In the uncertain doom. But you have. I love you. -Skye, your sister. Category:Blog posts